The Fast and The Furious (There’s no number ‘cause it’s the first one.) Part 2

- RACEWARS

- They go to the desert and race some cars. Some guy is all “You’re a chick, you can’t race” to Lettie and Lettie is all “Put your money where your mouth is, brah.” And she pushes her sunglasses up on her nose and kicks his butt in the race.

- Techie is up and he’s racing a member of the CrotchRocket Gang (who’s now in a car) for pink slips even though the car Techie is driving is actually his dad’s car. Paul Walker is all “NO TECHIE. DON’T DO THIS. THEY HAVE FANCY ENGINES!” and Techie is all “I got this.”

- Techie don’t got this. He loses and instead of stopping and handing over the pink slip he just keeps driving.

- Night falls and there’s lots of music and gyrating in little clothing.

- Paul Walker sees Dom, Scruffy, and Lettie uncovering some cars he hasn’t seen before (Paul Walker isn’t the most observant cop). Those cars are the same kinds of cars used in the truckjackings. Jordana Brewster is begging Dom to not go. Dom goes.

- Paul Walker finds Jordana Brewster and is all “Where are they going, Mia?” (I think Mia is her name?) and Jordana Brewster is all “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And Paul Walker is all “I’M A COP AND THEY’RE GOING TO DIE.” So she gets in the car with Paul Walker and they drive off.

- Dom, Lettie, and Scruffy (and maybe someone else? I can’t totally remember. The other person isn’t important.) go and start their truckjacking magic. They start by shooting this wire into the cab of the truck so Scruffy can climb into it.

- Well, the truck driver doesn’t like this so as Scruffy is climbing in, the truck driver shoots him with his shotgun.

- Now Scruffy is hanging off the side of a speeding truck, bleeding and with his arm wrapped around the wire. Dom and Lettie try to help him, but they don’t got this either.

- In comes Paul Walker who climbs out of the car while Jordana Brewster climbs over to the driver seat (all while speeding next to a truck, of course). He hops up on the truck and manages to get Scruffy free and back onto Jordana Brewster or Dom’s car (I can’t remember).

- So finally everyone is free from the truck and the truck drives off.

- I think Lettie might have crashed her car but she’s ok now?

- Scruffy isn’t looking good, so Paul Walker calls a helicopter to come transport Scruffy to the hospital. He has to use his cop code, so Dom hears and isn’t happy.

- Dom drives off and Paul Walker follows him in his car.

- Dom and Paul Walker end up at Dom’s house and are pointing guns at each other just as Techie drives up and is all “I’m so sorry Dom. I don’t know what to do. My old man is going to kill me.”

- His old man isn’t going to get a chance because the CrotchRocket Gang do a drive-by on their bikes and kill Techie. (This made me really sad.)

- Paul Walker gets in his car and chases after the CrotchRocket Gang. Dom joins in the case. They manage to either shoot or cause all the CrotchRocket Gang members to crash.

- Now it’s just Paul Walker and Dom. They’re on a straight road so they’re all “Let’s race.”

- They race.

- There’s a train crossing and a train is definitely coming.

- They don’t stop.

- They drive across the train tracks breaking the gates that are CLEARLY down (don’t do this.).

- They make it.

- There’s a truck.

- Dom doesn’t see it.

- The truck hits Dom.

- Dom flips.

- Dom dislocates his shoulder, but is ok.

- Paul Walker is all “I still owe you a 10-second car” and hands Dom the keys to Paul Walker’s still (surprisingly) functioning car.

- THE END.