- There’s a street race about to happen between three people. The good looking guy is all “You’re a chick, you can’t race.” And she’s all “Yeah I can. Let’s take this to the streets.” (We’ll call her “PinkCar” ‘cause I can’t remember her name.).
- Well, I don’t know if you know this about street racing, but apparently you can only do it with four people. Fortunately, the Ref. for the street race, Ludacris (seriously. It’s Luda.) offers to find them a 4th. They say yes instead of turning around and asking one of the people in the huge crowd of fast cars if they wanted to race.
- Luda calls Paul Walker. Paul Walker is down to RACE!
- Paul Walker wins, but the police are coming so they scatter.
- Paul Walker evades them until the police use this spider gun which scrambles the electrical stuff on the car and shuts it down.
- The police arrest him and bring him in.
- Paul Walker isn’t undercover again, it turns out he got kicked off the police force for aiding and abetting Dom’s escape in the first movie. That ish is illegal, yo.
- The DEA and FBI are trying to bust a drug dealer, but are having trouble. Fortunately, the person they have undercover, Eva Mendes, told them the drug dealer needs fast drivers. So the FBI immediately thought of good old reliable Paul Walker.
- This time, Paul Walker will have a DEA buddy to help. Paul Walker is all “Hell no.” and gives the buddy a pop-quiz about cars. He failed. Paul Walker is all “Fine, I’ll do it, but not with this shmo. I get to pick the guy.”
- So Paul Walker and the FBI guy (who is the same FBI guy from The Fast and The Furious) go to this car rodeo event where people in cars smash other people in cars and the last car functioning wins or something. Doesn’t matter.
- What does matter is that it turns out the winner of the car rodeo is a childhood friend that Paul Walker used to street race and boost cars with. It also turns out that person is a very hot Tyrese.
- Tyrese is not happy to see Paul Walker.
- Paul Walker turns to the FBI guy and is all “Whatever happens, just let it go, brah.”
- Paul Walker calls Tyrese “Rom” and Tyrese is all “Only friends call me ‘Rom’ and definitely not cops.”
- Paul Walker is all “I’m not a cop, brah.” And the FBI guy confirms it.
- Tyrese then punches Paul Walker and they wrestle in the dirt.
- Eventually they come to a ceasefire and we find out that Tyrese spent 3 years in prison and thought Paul Walker should have helped him, but Paul Walker insists he couldn’t have.
- Tyrese is on house arrest, but lives in an RV so he just parks really close to wherever he’s car rodeoing.
- Paul Walker and the FBI guy tell Tyrese if he helps them, he won’t be on probation or house arrest any more.
- Tyrese says ok.
- The DEA and FBI give Tyrese and Paul Walker each a car. Eva Mendes is there and briefs them on the situation: she’s coordinating the search for racers for the bad guy. She’s also sleeping with the bad guy.
- She rides with Paul Walker who then drives while staring at her. Apparently Tyrese taught him that (no, really. That’s what Tyrese says.)
- Paul Walker and Tyrese then take a driving test with some other racers. They’re winning until the cops show up ‘cause they put some GPS trackers on the cars. Tyrese shoots at the cops and then they all get away.
- Paul Walker and Tyrese win and they’re now the go-to drivers for the BadGuy.
- They’re angry they’re being GPS’d, so they race some guys for pink slips. Paul Walker and Tyrese win (there may have been some cheating on both sides.).
- So they take their new cars to Luda’s garage and Luda and PinkGirl help Paul Walker and Tyrese improve their new cars. It, of course, includes some NOS.
- BadGuy invites Paul Walker and Tyrese to his dance club. (It is the ugliest club I have ever seen in my entire life. Did I mention this movie takes place in Miami? The first movie was in California, but this one is definitely in Florida. The seats are these insanely weird seashell chairs. I couldn’t find a photo of them in a quick google. You should probably see this movie just so you can see this ugly dance club. No offense, Set Director.)
- Paul Walker and Eva Mendes touch each other in weird ways (she plays with his bracelet or something) while Tyrese is prowling.
- BadGuy sees Paul Walker and Eva Mendes weird touching. They all sit down in more weird chairs for a second before they proceed to the back room.
- In the backroom they torture a local police officer. I won’t go into details ‘cause I find it horribly disturbing. All you need to know is that they’re using it to convince the police officer to give the BadGuy’s team a window of opportunity to move some bags. It works. They all go home.
- Eva Mendes shows up on Paul Walker and Tyrese’s house boat where they’re apparently living and tells them BadGuy is planning the drop-off point to be an air strip and that he’s going to have his henchmen (who will be riding with Tyrese and Paul Walker) kill them when they get there.
- The henchmen show up at the houseboat at that moment and come aboard. Eva Mendes manages to escape through the bathroom skylight. There’s some punching. Some guns. Paul Walker yells “PUT THE GUN DOWN, BRAH” a bunch of times. BadGuy reveals himself and is all “we’re all fine. Let’s all calm down.” (If BadGuy was watching this entire time, how did he not see Eva Mendes climb out of the skylight? IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.)
- BadGuy and his henchmen leave.
- GO TIME.
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